He is Risen!

Happy Easter!!! Today is our last day in the Dominican Republic and it just seems fitting that this a day of celebration. A day to remember the victory that Jesus won through his death and resurrection. A day to remember how He made a way to reconcile us to Him and now we get the absolute gift of living in communion with our savior, our comforter, our friend, our defender, our provider, our God. For me and our squad this is also a day of celebration for what the Lord has done during our time here in the DR. The relationships that have been built on Him. The ways He has met us so personally in every high and every low. And the transformation that He has been doing in each one of our hearts.

I wanted to let y’all into some of the transformation He has been doing in me through the past 40 days during the season of Lent. I have taken part in Lent for the last few years, often giving up things like sugar or social media. But for me it has felt more like a test of my own willpower rather than the pursuit of heart transformation from the Lord. It has been something that only implements change for forty days, not something that kickstarts a long lasting lifestyle change. But “40 Days of Decrease”, a Lent devotion that I started, helped give me a new perspective about the purpose of Lent. It reminded me that “faith, in general, is less about the sacrifice of stuff and more about the surrender of our souls. Lent, in kind, is less about well-mannered denials and more about thinning our lives in order to thicken our communion with God. Decrease is holy only when its destination is.” I began to think what if Lent this year was a season that brought about genuine dependence on God? And what if it wasn’t just something that lasted for forty days, but rather for a lifetime?

Therefore, this year I felt the Lord urging me to approach Lent differently. This began with one of my squad leaders and sweet friend (shoutout @Mcparks) encouraging me to pray about what to give up. I know this might not seem like a crazy idea, but I must admit that it is not something I have done while practicing Lent in the past. When I brought the question to the Lord I was surprised that instead of giving up something tangible, I felt Him suggesting that I give up a way of living that had become habit. It was something that He had been slowly revealing to me in the weeks prior, something that had become highlighted through living in community. That something was self-sufficiency. What I mean by this is that I have a tendency to try to do everything in my own strength and resist relying on others. To fast self-sufficiency would mean to start asking people for help and/or accepting help when it is offered. I quickly learned that this would require me to let go of my pride and in humility acknowledge that I can’t do it all on my own.

The day before Lent started (key word BEFORE), I was working on the Mission of Hope campus, power washing the sidewalk. However, I was having problems getting the power washer to start and I couldn’t figure out what I was doing wrong. There was a little voice in the back of my head saying “Maybe you should just ask for help.” But me in my stubbornness thought “No God Lent doesn’t start until tomorrow! I don’t need help, I can do it.” After going back and forth like this for a good fifteen minutes I still hadn’t been able to start the power washer and was now thoroughly frustrated. Finally I relented and when my squad-mate Gibby walked by I asked him for help. Of course he had the thing up and running in seconds. It was then that I began to realize how much of a growing process laying down my self-sufficiency really would be.

Throughout the past forty days I have recognized four different categories in which I have grown and want to continue to grown in asking for help in.

1. Asking others for help with daily things

The aforementioned story about the power washer would go in this category. There are just things in my day to day life that yes technically I could do on my own but that are simply easier when allowing others to help me. For example carrying something heavy or doing a task that would go twice as fast if two people were doing it. I noticed that growth in this category usually involved accepting other peoples’ help when it was offered rather than replying with my usual “no it’s okay I got it.” Luckily living with a group of super thoughtful, helpful people has given me lots of opportunities to work on this area of growth.

    2. Asking God for help with daily things

This is an area that I rarely if ever practiced asking for help in before I began this fasting season. I had the mindset that God does not need to be bothered by my “insignificant” prayers and that He has much bigger things to worry about. But I realized that this was based in a limiting view of God and that if God is really as infinite as I believe He is than He can hear all my prayers big and small and all the prayers of everyone else. And if I truly believe He is as loving and personal as He says He is and that I’ve experienced Him to be than He cares about every detail of our lives not just the things that we may view as “worthy of His time”.

    3. Asking others for help with heart things

This one was a tough one but I think the area in which I have grown the most in which I am sooooo thankful for. Vulnerability has never come naturally to me and especially with new people I tend to take a while to open up. This was definitely my mindset going into the race and it is safe to say I had a few walls up when it came to letting my squad-mates in. But thankfully because of their HUGE hearts and their persistence in asking “are you okay?”, slowly but surely I began to ask them for help when it came to the deeper, emotional things I was walking through. It was when I finally stepped out in this way that I was met with most Christ-like love and care. Though I still have a lot of room for growth in this area I am so thankful for my dear dear friends who are so patient with me and continue to encourage me to be brave and humble enough to let them speak truth and love straight to my heart.

    4. Asking God for help with heart things

Even though I know that the Lord knows my heart inside and out He has been showing me the ways in which I have not allowed Him to speak into and heal the hurting and broken parts of my heart. This has been a slow and revealing process but one that has been so special with the Lord. As Lent comes to an end this is the area that I feel I want to step into and focus on the most. Holding nothing back from God and being completely honest with Him has brought me closer into His presence than ever before and is something I want to continue pressing into for the rest of my life.

The past forty days have been nothing short of transformative, but I know that this process of decrease is only just beginning. I pray that as I continue to ask for help and to admit that not only can I not do it all on my own, but that I don’t have to, that I will see the Lord move in my life and my relationships in new and powerful ways. I pray that as I grow smaller, that He will be magnified. That as I embrace my weakness, He will be exalted in strength. Once again Happy Easter! What a reason we have to rejoice. He is alive!

All my love,

B🤍