Homeward Bound

I’m writing this on the plane home to Colorado. This is the last flight of the 16 that I’ve been on this year. It’s been 310 days since I left for the Race. It feels nearly impossible to completely process it all ending and explain what the past 310 days have been like for me, but I will share a couple of thoughts that I have.

We left South Africa and flew to Georgia for five days of debriefing together as a squad with our leadership team. Those were precious days of preparing for what “re-entry” would be like. We went to Target and Chick-fil-A, of course, but we also talked about things like what community will look like at home, sharing testimonies from the field, and how to transition well.

Now it’s been 10 days since I had to say goodbye to my squad mates. The people who I had laughed, cried, worshipped, and served with every single day. The people whom I shared beds, meals and the deepest parts of myself with. Needless to say, those goodbyes were harder than I can ever put into words and to be honest I don’t think they’ve fully set in yet. We experienced so much change over the past year, but we experienced it all together. They were my one constant through it all (besides the Lord of course) and life without them just doesn’t seem right. I miss them in the little things like when I go to say an inside joke or am reminded of a memory. I miss them all the time, and I think I will always long for the intimate, Christ-centered community that we built together.

In talking to people since I’ve been back I’ve gotten the question “Was it everything you thought it would be?” and I almost start laughing every time. Because honestly I had very little idea what the Race really was. And in many ways it wasn’t anything like what I thought it might be. But also, in so many ways, it was more than I thought it would be. It was more challenging. More vulnerable. More difficult. More transformative. More exciting. More healing. More stretching. More exhausting. More life giving.

Before I left on the race I had heard several alumni say that it was both the best thing they had ever done, and the hardest thing. And now I know what they meant. Before I thought maybe it was the hardest because they had to leave home, eat different food, and sleep on the ground. But turns out that’s the easy part. The hard part isn’t abandoning material comforts but rather abandoning things like: self-protection, control, selfishness, pride, fear, doubt, unforgiveness, and comparison. The combination of getting wildly outside out your comfort zone and into deep, vulnerable community has a way of revealing some of these heart issues. But the kind thing about the Lord is that He doesn’t just reveal He also heals. And it turns out going through the process of surrender and healing is really, really hard. But, the same reasons as to why the Race is such a difficult and stretching experience are also the reasons why it was the best thing I’ve ever been a part of. The act of stepping out of my comfort zone and leaving everything I’ve ever known behind, while terrifying, was also freeing, eye opening, and grew my trust in the Lord exponentially. Likewise, living with the same 8 people for nearly a year, while challenging, was also encouraging, life-giving, and led to some of the deepest friendships I have ever had. And finally, allowing the Lord to work out some things in my heart, while painful, was also growing, healing, and a true testament to His lovingkindness. 

This opportunity has been the most life changing and transformative experience. But as I look towards life after the Race, I am reminded of some very wise advice I received 11 months ago at training camp. Our mentor told me that it’s not the World Race that saves you, it’s God. And for me right now that is so encouraging. Because it’s not the Race that has healed me, changed me, transformed me, it is all the work of the Lord. And although the Race comes to an end, God never stops working in us and through us. Just because this year is done doesn’t mean that God is, and in fact I think He’s just getting started.

Therefore, I am so so thankful for this experience and how it has been such a special opportunity for the Lord to really work in my heart and my life. I never imagined I would get to see, do, and experience the things that I did. I know that none of it would have been possible without everyone who has supported me the entire way. I am beyond grateful to each and every one of you!

It has been the adventure of a lifetime. Thank you so much for coming along on the journey with me.

B 🤍